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DJ_Mullet
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Name: Mark
Location: Ventura, California, United States
Birthday: 7/21/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Astronomy,paintball, football, da ladies.....did I mention astronomy......
Expertise: I'm a whiz with the computer......I can give advice if you ever need it....I'll still be your friend when everyone else hates you...and apparently....I'm pretty good at being the guy that's there to help and just be friends.
Occupation: Computer related
Industry: Business
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Nomadicdemon
Member Since:
2/15/2005
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| So two months [and give or take a few days] have passed since i was missing my best friend---
THURSDAY--AUG 20TH 9:40PM
I finally called her and we talked about our 'problems' and id say 2 hrs later....we're back on track and Ive never felt better about having someone back in my life.
LOVE comes in many forms and we definately have love :)
not once in my life did i think I would have a woman as [one of many] best friend....but i couldn't be happier about it.
although she's in TX right now, It's really great knowing i have my best back.
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| hello Xanga---its been almost 1 year since i wrote in you =P ......anyways...im not sure how other people feel towards their best[girl]friend, cuz as a guy, typically, most guys i know have other dudes as best friends--- ive only had best friends that were other dudes until she came into my life back in 07....its like a whole nother world when u have the opposite sex as a best----and a real connection Id say.
one day we were talking about relationships and etc etc....after awhile it got onto the subject of 'us' and it pretty much went down hill from there =/.
well, ok, it all starts back in 2007--i was working at a youth center for 7 months now and i saved up some money to move out to Fontana with a friend of mine, cuz he was goin to UTI at the time.....so eventually i move out and my buddy had this 'bed buddy' named Jacky---well, most time Jacky was around the apartment, brian was at work or on his way home...so when i was there with the other ppl me and jacky were always talking and ykno we started what was to become a great friendship---mmmk? well we've been friends for over 2 years now and we text each other like nobody's business and she's had this bf for about a year or so now and at first it was all dandy ykno talkin to her about relationships and my gf her bf type stuff, cuz at the time we were both involved...it was nice to have someone to lean on about relationships [o btw---im 21 she's 29, present time ahah] she was always telling me about what she did w her bf and how great he was etc etc blah
blah blah because i did the same...we happened to both have on/off relationships with our S/O's...
so me and her had always just flirted with each other thru txt/calls and stuff [btw,lil side story, i moved back to my home in oxnard due to pothead roommates and poor money management--so me and jacky are mainly long distance friends, which kinda bummed me out] so id say about 2 months ago, that whole awkward 'what if there was an US' conversation came up and that lasted about 3 hrs over the phone and texting---and towards the end of our convo [the following is txt, not convo]
ME:Yea jackybear, i think we'd be a great cpl.
Her-Well, idk...i never really thought about 'us'
Me-oh...well, maybe u should[?] just think about it
Her-Mmmm, im not sure--
Me--haha hehe hoho...well, whys that?
Her-Idk, its just i dont see you guys that way'
Me-uhhhh, who's guys?? im talking about me and you
Her- NVM that...nvm
Me-no0o0...wth are u talking about? who's guys??
Her- Well, u know...ur kinda like the guys I dont even give the time of day to--ur not really that great
Me-o0o0 like that??!
**that was the last i talked to her**
NOW---idk if she realizes this or not, but sayin that to a guy, especially ur best GUY friend--- is fuckin brutal...i was actually hurt by that statement, cuz she wouldnt even give me the time of day? im not that great!? wtf....anyways, after that awkward convo---i didnt even honestly want to talk to her-- more/less be her friend nemore-- i stopped texting her and i didnt want to even think about her--although I have gone a few nights just staying up thinkin about her, hopin she's ok, i dont want to physically talk to her.--anyways, after this whole episode...
I went to Sandeezy and 'left my charger' at home in oxnard so i didnt have to worry about her...she literally hurt me and at first i was just plain pissed she dropped that bomb on me...but after so long [been almost 2 months] i feel numb about it and i want to bring it up, but at the same time, i dont want to deal with any drama from her-- I CANT stand the fact she said that to me-- i like honesty, but holy crap, i dont like being hurt like that =/....i felt betrayed by her--but that whole Sandeezy trip mellowed me out [i got my cuzns advice but she mainly just told me talk to her and smoked me out for 3 days ahah] and i came to realize she was using me basically to just boost her own ego*
my question to you is ---should i be feeling this way? do u think i should talk to her and let her know how i feel about what she said, or has too much time passed?? what would cause her to drop a bomb like 'your not worth my time' on a close friend?? did i over react?? [i dont feel i did, ive never had a bomb dropped on me like that, so that's just my natural reaction to it] has anything like this ever happened to you??
p.s. She has text/called me at least 5x since we havent talked and her last one said 'Mark, are u seriously not talking to me anymore'.....i didnt bother responding.
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| I feel useless.........
I want to drive forward w/ my life but i have no inspiration anymore....i have no drive. Ive lost all desire to progress and i dk how to get it back, i dk even know what i want in life anymore.
Ive also come to realize that its the same cycle everyday with people in my life right now...
All my friends in my life right now are those of at least 14+ friendships....but only one of them DOESNT smoke weed--I know weed isnt considered a drug, and its not in my opinion but its playing a major part in all of their lives...Im not saying i dont smoke....i try not to, and i dont nearly as much as them, ive smoked twice since may and only a bowl [which isnt much if you smoke--not even enough to get you high unless you're new to smoking] and its like...why do i even do this?? it doesnt help me in any way shape or form...and i know it helps most of my friends who smoke but i hate being around people who are high now...its just annoying. But i cant give up my friendships over weed, they are great people still, but they wont stop smoking, and i dk what to do....Its really hard to hang out with stoners when ur not a stoner....I hate being high, i really do.
I want to find something else we can all do rather than smoke weed, cuz they're wasting money on it, at least my friends who the weed doesnt do anything for.....Any thoughts on wat im feeling....???
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| hello fellow Xanga'ers......how is it goin?!!? hopefull well.....
So....been up and down lately...drunk and sober....high and sober.....drunk high sober...lol, good times....drunk/high bowling....beach.....chillin.....drama w/parentals+gf.....over it.
hahaaha....thats been my life lately....back on track i guess....kinda bleh...but kinda whoo! at the same time.
hows everyone else?!? i miss ppl, talk to me! ahahaha....jk...but yea, lemme know wussup....
LAAAAAAAAAATE
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| anyone out there was like....'hey, wonder wat marks up to?'
im chillin ight?? no job atm...so im posted...lookin but not like hard and hanging out with my lady and just enjoying myself....if u wanna chill or watever, hit me up, u got the numbers =P
if not, message me, lol....laaaate
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